Welcome to what is going to be the most hit website on the internet. This is the place where i'm gonna crack open my brain and like spill the brillance onto the screen of your computer till it leaks out into your desk.
BACKGROUND (AKA what ya need to know AKA rules of the game AKA FACTS)
My name is David Nelson Splosian. JK. My real last name is an absolute secret or my mom is gonna be a b*tch and shut off the wireless. So I had to pick a last name, or as mom says, as nom de plumb. So i pick SPLOSIAN because it is like EXPLOSIAN, but there's nothing "ex' about it because it's right here and RIGHT FREAKING NOW. I am...... DAVE SPLOSIAN!>
FIRST POST:
This past weekend my family and I had to go North Carolina for Jason Crap's Bar Mitzvah. His real name is CRAP. Honestle.
actualy, it's not. I'm not aloud to use last names on the web. But it should be because this kid is such an idiot. d
He knew almost none of the Hebrew words and was just like humming on the bimah. I mean, it was embarassing. and listen to this -- afterwards, he said tha t he got a WII and I'm like WHAT? I also have a WII, but I had to prove that it wouldn't get in the way of my weight loss plan and it DIDN"T because i still go ont he tred mill an hour BEFORE i play WII. ANYWAY -- this idiot got the WII just because of his bar mitzvah. this ridiculous. he was so bad.
so you're probably wondering - WHY DID I GO TO THIS?
OK:
1. I had to.
2. I've never been to North Carolina before and I really love travlling. My plan is to make it to all 50 states before I graduate from Collegiate.
3. These are the states i've been to: NEW YORK (obvi), North Carolina, Florida, California, Boston Massachusettes, Arkansas (sucks!!!!!!), Michigan, VEGAS FOR GRAMPA'S 75th, and probably a bunch more of the boring ones. I'm gonna get a list made and then make sure i don't miss any. The hard one is going to be alaska because my dad just went there for business and i'm sure he won't want to go back with me because of what happened when we went to vegas.
4. I HAD TO.
ANYWAY, Jason Crap is the son of my Dad's roommate from princeont. his Dad is actually really awesome. he writes for tv shows and wrote like ten episodes of BECKER. I never watched it but my dad gets the episodes on tape, so now i watch it sometimes on the tredmill and they're really funny.
BY THE WAY -- the foto below is of my future wife (wife #1) KRISTIN BELL. i don't need words to describe her because she's just like...UGH!
At this point you're probably thinking -- yo SPLOSH, how did you get through such a dumb trip to North Carolina? Here's how--
MURDER!
jk, I didn't. but here's how:
while everyone was listening to all the talks about jason craps love of soccar (by the way -- he's awful. i know it.) i went outside. the best thing to do when things get boring is to ESCAPE. then i make up situations and live them out.
PIZZAS HERE!
5 comments:
haha - hey dave. don't leave this on the screen if you don't want people reading it!
good work though! keep it up!
love,
big sis
if anyone can figure out how to delete comments, lemme know.
PS -- SLEPT TIL NOON! I LOVE SUMMER!!!!!r!!
YOU ARE A DOOSH. LOL. HAHA, I LIKE THE NAME JASON CRAP I AM GOING TO USE THAT NAME FROM NOW ON. LOOK I MADE A BLOG JUST LIKE YOU. OH I AM SO COOL, I AM DAVE! SIKE! I AM JASON. AND I AM AWESOME AT SOCCER YOU TURD. JK...THE WII IS SO AWESOME. DO YOU HAVE WII GUITAR HERO? I HAVE LIKE 5 GUITARS ALREADY!!! THANKS FOR COMING TO MY PARTY AND FOR WRITING ABOUT IT. LOL! CAPS LOCK!!!!
jason -- how did you find this blog? did dana tell you?
and in case you are an idiot, i was joking about how much i hated you're barmitzvah. do you understand sarcasm on the internet? some poeple don't.
anyway man, we should hang out. when are you next in MANFATTIN?
ps -- i like your blog. i like how you say your industry is chemicals. like drugs, right? where do you get them?
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