Wednesday, May 12, 2010

WHAT IS WRONG WITH OUR COUNTRY

so excuse me for blowing open this bag of secrecy: but I think I have located the perfect bottle of WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH AMERICA:

ever here of the NEW YORK TIMES?

well: there is not thing WRONG with the NEW YORK TIMES Per SAY.

BUTT!

take a looksee at the front page online.

there's this box named: MOST EMAILED

for those of you who don't understand internet: most emailed means: the articles on the NEW YORK TIMES website that are most emailed to relatives.

WELL.

there is so much crazy shit happening in this world. drugs and sickness and starvation and war and hatreds and global warming and sexting.

yet --- this is basically what the top 10 articles ALWAYS ARE:

MOST EMAILED LINKS:

1. How to make the best scrumptious pancakes!
2. Are the SAT's the right method to figure out if kids belong at YaleHarvardPrinceton?
3. Julia Roberts: Choosing her projects case-by-case
4. Ten minute meals by Mario Battalllli
5. How to redecorate your home on a budget!
6. Opinion: Facebook -- does it make our kiddies dumbos?
7. Massive explosion in Baghdad. Ten billion ten.
8. Carry-out food --- is it cheaper than cooking?
9. Opinion: Are girls better than boys?
10. BOOGERS


Ok.

SOOOO.

What do we learn?

NUMBER SEVEN IS THE HUGE EXPLOSION

Americans don't care about anything because they are disconnected, unaffacted, and lazy

as long as tv is all like< "liz lemon loves to eat food but she's still so thin!" then we'll never be like, "Congress! send prescription medications to the africans!"



i mean, this is for the older people to deal with. people that spend all they're time buying linenes.

i just need to graduate and find a girl with who i can have some cool 'firsts.'


we need a call to action.

i am that call.

and i am a 1-800 number

SPLOS-OUT!