this is what i wrote and am bringing in 2morroOHHHHHHHHH
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David Kelsey [SPLOSIAN]
1993-2009
David Kelsey [SPLOSIAN] died today of a massive coronary.
He was in the middle of winning the US OPEN and also solving an unsolved crime about Jon F. Kennedy (a 4mer president).
David has 3 children who are surviving without him. THese are they're names:
Trish, Shadow, and Eric.
He also has a wife. This is what she looks like:
http://gfjfgkfgk.up.269g.net/image/kristen_bell_shoot_2_big.jpg
After graduating with a perfrect grades from Collegiate, David attended the University of Dartmouth, following in his father's footsteps literally. At Dartmouth, he was elected president of the fraternity / newspaper and had a small group of really funny but also close-nitted frineds.
After graduting from Darthmith, David was ofered a job in the ISraeli army. He also was ofered a job to be a speechwriter for Barak Obama because David is a DEMOCRAT PARTY and also is creative with words and thoughts of motivatsionsal speaking.
You may talk a bit about your favorite hobbies or books that made an impact on your life. Be sure to use complete sentences and proper grammar when wr:
Some of my favorite hobbies include TENNIS, nature, central park walks, time with Damon rolling around like two old souls, and i'm starting to sort of like singing but i only learned 3 notes.
David's body was CREMATED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
8 comments:
CHILL OUT EVERYONE. MY MIDDLE NAME IS KELSEY, NOT MY LAST. THE DAY I GIVE AWAY MY REAL LAST NAME IS THE DAY I GROW A FEMALE BUTT
Dear Dave Splosian,
Nice to meet you. I am a fan! It's so great to be writing to you here! I read your blog every day. I mean I read your ENTIRE blog every day!
Here is my question:
In your post of June 2008 entitled Jason Crap's Bar Mitzvah, you introduced yourself as David Nelson Splosian, but here you are saying that your middle name is Kelsey. Do you have two middle names? Please clarify for a confused fan!
Sincerely,
Alex [RETRACTED] -- sorry, my wife won't let me put my real last name or she says she'll turn off the internet in the internetcafe we own and operate...
P.S. HEHEHE a female butt is the same as a regular butt I just realized! You are such a clever!
haha. hey alex. do you really run a internet coffe?
that sounds cool. i like that you own and operate it. i was thinking of starting a hotel where all of the bellboys are animals but i don't think i want to actually operate it because of the constant $hitting. i do want to own it so i can make a lot of money and buy things.
i really want to make enuf money so that i can go into a shoe store and be like, "i'll take it."
and then the shoemaker / cobbler says, "take what?"
and isay, "the hsoes!"
and he goes, "which shhoes?"
and is ay, "all of them!"
and then i buy they're entire inventory!! haha.
do you really run a intenret store? are you sure you're not alex r. from collegiate who i gave the link to yesterday after we saw surrogates?
OH and my real middle name is Kelsey, but i hate it b/c it is also a girls name i think. nelson was a joke b/c naima says i laugh like nelson on the simpsons tv show.
but i don't
You responded to my comments! How exciting for me!
I think you have a great mind, Dave Kelsey ____! Don't let the dreams die, because one day you could be sitting writing about animal hotels and olympic pole jumping and touching girls boobs under the covers, and then next you could be sitting drunk and dejected at color me mine while your wife berates you about messing up the color palate on the dog water bowl you are both painting. and then next moment you could be sleeping on the floor of your wifi coffee shop every night and eating your meals out of the very dog bowl you helped paint.
What's your address so I can send you some money to buy shoes?
That stuff I wrote wasn't about me, by the way. My wife Tina isn't like that. Haha after rereading what I wrote I'm sure you think that I was referring to myself being a dreamer and then throwing it away to marry some reformed prostitute who tricked me into thinking she was pregnant so we would get married and make me support her with the money I won by being one of the original investors in a vitamin company. That totally really didn't happen at all, and I was just giving a random example! I just meant to tell you to keep being yourself and thinking big. My wife doesn't make me drink out of dog bowls. You're so creative-- don't ever change-- for anyone. My marriage is fine.
thisis why my mom doesn't want me to put my last name online. are you a predator/?
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